I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
