Got a toothbrush?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
