dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just threw up on my dentist
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
