I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he puts the penis in happiness.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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