I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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