Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
