Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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