Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
whose ass print is on the piano?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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