some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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