and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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