I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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