my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we're so committed to being not committed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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