I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
