He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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