i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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