I am spending my child support on dildos
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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