oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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