I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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