If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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