obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
