And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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