I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish i was in the wii world.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
