We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize