I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
