that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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