I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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