just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
