Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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