got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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