I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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