Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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