he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
