just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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