It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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