We named our party play list daddy issues
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
