talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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