Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
