I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
