i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
