Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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