My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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