Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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