you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
