Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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