Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
