My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
