Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
