it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
