Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
