Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
