it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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