I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
