Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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