I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
