Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
