that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
