I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
