Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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