oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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