Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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