I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize