I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
