Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
