Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
