i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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