So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
