found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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