weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
