my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize