I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
