Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
