Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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