You really coming over, don't trick.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
