God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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