I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
