I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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