yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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