Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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