grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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