Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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