And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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